The last blog was about all the exciting things you can find in your mother’s makeup cabinet, and how much more effort they put into their appearance than us. Today I’m going to talk about piercings. What do piercings have to do with the great big world of women’s beauty?
Well, like many of the things I’ve blogged about in the last couple months, there’s a fun difference between the sexes. There are far more women than men with piercings.
I myself have a big round piece of metal under my lip. It’s called a labret piercing. When I got it in 2010, labrets were on their way out and people warned me I would look passé, used up, tacky. Seven years later, labrets are rare not because people are afraid of looking uncool, but because no one has thought of doing it lately. We’re all distracted by just how many ways you can put a horseshoe through a nose. Now people come up to me, compliment me on my face-ball and tell me it suits me. Children try to grab it. It brings everyone joy.
Piercings are fun, but there’s an ugly underbelly to them. Gunk, residue. Something called ear cheese that develops on the metal bar. Ear cheese is the most foul expression ever coined, but it can be prevented.
The cheese is a mix of dead skin, oil, something called sebum. Of course, oil is a main cause of acne and the first line of defence against acne is good skin. Water, fruits and vegetables, SkinB5 Acne Control Caplets, SkinB5 Acne Control Extra Strength Tablets. The full SkinB5 treatment is designed to keep your oil under control. From there it’s good to remove your piercings while you shower, so that you prevent anything building up and use the gentle SkinB5 Cleansing Mousse on the area to clear the area. Just be sure the piercing is properly healed. Wipe the jewellery, warm water and glycerine soap should do it. It’s okay to finish the piercing with a little jojoba or lavender oil.
Then you can put back the piercing. But where does it go, where do people get pierced?
Women overwhelmingly get their ears pierced. Earlobes are so common that the American statistics don’t even count them. So, let’s go with the American numbers:
Out of the 50% of women who are pierced, one in three has their belly button done. Yes, a third. If midriff tops get any more popular, the secret will be out and everyone will be super surprised about it. It might become a meme. The nose is slightly more popular for women too. Meanwhile the edgier ones like nipples, tongues and lips are far more popular with men. And what about the nether regions? Only 3% of men and 2% of women have their genitals done. But hey, that’s a big ask.
And you really want to keep those parts of your body clean, so remember to take your supplements and say balanced. Use all the tips I’ve given you more often when it’s hot.
Basically, piercings are so cool because they’re unisex. And like yoga or the Twilight books, if so many people are into them, everyone usually has an opinion on them. They’re a big part of our society, so even if you don’t have them, it’s good to know how to keep them healthy. If dating is your thing (a few of you like being single and I think that’s awesome), you’ll inevitably get with someone pierced and then their gunk becomes yours. Then you’ll be extra grateful I shared these tricks with you.
Deep down, I just want to make you think about facial piercings until it seems like a good idea to get one. One of us! One of us!
Peter Matthews is a weightlifter and serial piercing recipient. He really likes tea even though he lives in Melbourne where there is one tea house for every billion cafes (give or take). His favourite B vitamin is B6, the one that may give you vivid dreams.